Want to skip the religious stuff? Us, too. So, instead of reading the book, we took the quiz and Googled the rest.
While the Love Languages™ were created by a Christian author, we personally are not religious and do not follow Christianity. We still find Love Languages™ extremely helpful in keeping us both mindful of our partner's needs.
Take the quiz individually before your date.
While you can read it together, your answers may change due to influence by your partner, so we find the most honest results are when we do them solo.
Don't be afraid to check lots of boxes: you may have multiple Love Languages™ and that's okay.
While the book is outdated, focused only on heterosexual relationships, and talks about religion, if you can get past all of that, you can really reap the benefits of living by your Love Language™.
What are the Five Love Languages?
If you're unfamiliar with the Love Language™ system, we will give a brief overview of each below.
Acts of Service
If your primary Love Language™ is “acts of service,” it's exactly what it sounds like: you enjoy it when your partner helps you by doing chores around the house or helping you run errands rather than buying you a gift, for example.
Not only speaking of sexual intimacy, if your primary Love Language™ is “physical touch,” you probably enjoy hand-holding, thoughtful touches throughout the day, or even massages.
It can also mean that physical or sexual intimacy is important to you, which is why communication is key: we have to prioritize communicating to our partners what we need, want, and enjoy.
Spending quality time together is important for most couples, but if it's your primary Love Language™, it's even more important that you put “quality time” on the front burner.
Quality time may look like cooking dinner together (no phones or interruptions!), or watching your favorite movie together.
My favorite movie of all time is Demolition Man. When my husband queues it up, I know he wants me to know he's being thoughtful (because it's definitely not his favorite LOL).
Words of Affirmation
Unsolicited compliments may make your heart flutter if your primary Love Language™ is “words of affirmation.”
Saying something simple like, “I love you” or “you look beautiful” can make your partner swoon when they appreciate words of affirmation. It doesn't take much effort at all, but can make a huge impact.
If your primary Love Language™ is “receiving gifts,” you may have had trouble conveying that in past relationships (or even your current one) without feeling greedy or selfish.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying receiving gifts! If this is your primary Love Language™, let your partner know that the amount of money doesn't matter – but you do love that they are being thoughtful enough to give you gifts on a regular basis (not just on Hallmark holidays).
As you can see from my Love Language™ quiz results above, I couldn't care less about receiving gifts. I run my own business and am not shy about buying myself things – the exact things I want, when I want them.
While my husband is an amazing gift-giver, I'd much rather he cook me dinner (or have it delivered) so I don't have to think about that chore. In fact, he knows this so well that he cooks dinner most nights – and we have someone else cook on the nights he doesn't feel up to it! 🙂
Setting Up Your Love Language Date (Coming 2024!)
Now that you know what your Love Languages™ are, and you know what they're all about, now it's time to explore yours – and your partner's – together.
Relationship Builders for Acts of Service
Relationship Builders for Physical Touch
Relationship Builders for Quality Time
Relationship Builders for Words of Affirmation
Relationship Builders for Receiving Gifts